Too Heavy

O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. For your arrows have pierced me, and your hand has come down upon me. Because of your wrath there is no health in my body; my bones have no soundness because of my sin. My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.    Psalm 38:1-4

As I read this psalm, I cannot help but consider that this is the way I should feel about all my sins. My sins are numerous—many of them I am not aware of. Yet very few of my sins cause me to have the type of anguish the psalmist has. It is true that for many people—and perhaps for the psalmist—sickness is equated with sin. For me, as I read, I contemplate the depth of my sin and the darkness that sin brings into my life. It is a vile diet that contaminates me. It is a disease of epic proportions, and it should sicken me to have it in my life. Personally, I am aware of the pain that comes from cancer as it attacks my body. I know the depth of that pain and it causes me to cry out when it flares up, but does the pain of the cancer of sin in my body cause the same reaction? I fear that too many times I overlook the sin in my life and do not realize that it is causing me the type of pain this psalm describes. If I were able to see my sin as God sees it, I would find it to be too heavy for me to bear and I would cry out as David did, “Come quickly to help me, O Lord my Savior” (38:22).

O LORD, show me where my sin is weighing me down. Help me to see the sin in my life as you see it. Help me to understand the righteous wrath that must come against my sin and help me to repent and cry out to you. Thank you that you are my glorious Savior. Amen.